Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
