somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
