would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
