There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
