Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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