I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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