If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
