We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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