can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
