Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
