hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
