my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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