Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
