actually, I'm a sock model
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
