I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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