yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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