If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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