Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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