She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
