This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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