I can text with my tongue
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
