Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
