dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
