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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
