Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
