I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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