Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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