Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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