we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
