I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
