It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
