no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
