we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize