My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
