so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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