its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she told me i tasted like america
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
