Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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