Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
