my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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