And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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