READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
