I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
