You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
