Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
