dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize