ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
