Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
