just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Boobs are out for the taking
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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