That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
