he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
