can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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