Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize