Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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