I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
