Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
