I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
