i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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