It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
