Dual....:-)
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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