At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
